Sunday, April 19, 2009

Parenting Advice Desperately Needed!!!

So I am truly at a loss of what to do with my son Ridge. I always swore I would never have a momma's boy or a whiner and I have both in one little boy. He's mute when it comes to words, but he fails to mute the sounds he puts out constantly. He is CONSTANTLY crying, whining, wanting to be held, wanting something I can't figure out because he won't talk. I truly cannot take it anymore. He was a great baby but as he's gotten older and he is now 18 months old, he's getting worse and worse. I know a lot of the patience issues has to do with me being pregnant but even Curtis is done with the whole deal. The thing that baffles me is that I will get more upset with him than Curtis and yet he still chooses to come to me or want me over Curtis which I don't understand or even enjoy which I am sorry to say. We've tried putting him in his bed every time he starts to cry for absolutely no reason, but it doesn't seem to do anything. He comes out and within a few SECONDS, he's back to whining and crying again. It is the most draining and frustrating thing. I feel so bad for Cambree who is such a great girl who seems to be getting the short end of the stick. Mom and dad are sick of dealing with Ridge that she gets bothered parents and lack of attention. I just don't know what else to do. I have another baby coming in a couple months and it truly scares me to think I will have Ridge still acting like he does with a brand new baby that will truly need my full attention. I watch him at times and want to believe he's in pain or something is bothering him (he still only has 7 teeth so he could be teething), or he always wants to be held so I link that to being in pain but I can't figure it to be the cause for everything. I am hoping there is someone out there who reads this that can shed some light on what I can do to curb this attitude. So anyone with ANY advice even simple as it may seem, please let me know because I truly don't know if I can handle too much more of things the way they are. Thanks for any help. 

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am truly sorry beacuse I have no advice, but I do feel your pain!!! Cobes needs my attention more these days and most days it wares on my nerves. He doesn't talk as much as Chloe does and I truly think he just needs a little more loves than chloe does. I also think it's just the age! Every child is different and I think this age is very frusterating for them. They can't fully communicate what it is they need. I am told that it does get easier though. So hang in there and be patient. I don't know about you, but I sure wish they had a manual on how to be a parent. Some days are ALOT to handle! Just remember your a good mom and your doing your best!

Terry and Heather said...

Hey, Now its my turn to comment to you! I really don't as much on this subject as others but, when I find my patience wearing with Titan and I'm yelling or I want to do something worse, I just say a little prayer in my heart and ask for heavnely father to help me out. When I worked at the preschool I found that alot of the little kids who's parents were about to have another one, would do any and everything to get more attention. so mayber that is what he wants, feels like he has to fight or whine to get it. Some of these kids would start bitting or go back to having accidents everyday when they would be potty tained a good month or longer before the new baby arrived.

So I guess what im saying is maybe say a prayer and just try to give him some extra attention or mayber come up with things just you and him can do, I know's he's still young but that what they encourged some of the parents to do at the school.

As always im here for you, if you want me to come get the kids please let me know!

Heather

Chelsie said...

I think it would be a good idea to teach him some signing. Little kids pick it up fast and if he knows how to communicate and can tell you what he needs he may stop whining. I know I'm not a mom but I have had A LOT of friends that have done it with kids Ridge's age and younger and it has really helped. I know it will take time to teach. But they pick it up fast. And you know if you need a break mom and dad would LOVE to come and take him for a week or whatever. Let me know if I can help.

Unknown said...

Attention - definitely a possibility. Pain - definitely a possibility and easily tested. Give him a maximum dose of Tylenol (or pain killer of your choice) and see if his behavior improves. If it does, then it could be his teeth. If this has been going on for quite some time, take him to the doctor and have his ears checked. He may need ear tubes. I have one child who has tubes and she is an angel (unless her ears are hurting). The pediatrician couldn't see the fluid because it wasn't infected. Specialist had to check.

That said, I do have one child who is fussy just for the sake of being fussy. She just needs more attention than the others and she needs it from me. I give her a minute or two on my lap when she needs it and then we can go about our business. One day I offered to "tie" her onto my back - like with a baby carrier - and she was so happy. I explained that would hurt my back so she didn't want to do that, but just that I had offered made such a difference for her. Hope this is helpful.

The Helvig Familiy said...

Goodness,
I am not a mom, but have some information that may help. I am working on my masters in Speech Therapy and thought it was interesting that you said he is not using words. In one of my classes they said that by 18 months, children should be combining words to make two word utterances. Some children who develop language later on, get frustrated often because they aren't able to communicate their needs. You said he cries and whines but does he make any other speech sounds, like babbling. Does he have any words at all? I would be a little concerned if he is not using words at all. You may want to get his speech and language evaluated, although that would be tough in Thatcher. I am so sorry, I wish I knew more.

peachytiffers said...

:( Boys, boys, boys! They can be so hard! I'm not really sure what you could do, but I figured any advice might help. I mostly wish I was there to help. You could try encouraging sign language. I always told myself I wouldn't do that, cause I think it can slow down speech, but Luke likes to throw fits and so we have tried to teach him some. He only really does two for now, but man has it helped stop the screaming! Maybe trying to learn just one word each day too. Do a few words over and over until he gets them and then move on. JJ was very moody, so for him, we started to teach him the words for what he was feeling. If we could tell he was mad or frustrated, we would say, "Are you mad? It's okay to me mad." Eventually, he would start having the word to describe how he felt. He was still moody, but at least he was telling us how he felt. Maybe he needs some 1 on 1 time with just you. You probably are already giving it to him, but maybe try some more and see if that's what he wants. Um, I feel like this is super long, so I'll quit. Call me if you ever just need to vent!